Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Revelations of a Woman in Transition... Entry # 4

So I'm 7 months into the transition phase of going natural.

It's going pretty well I must say. It's gotten much easier with me using my different options for styles and what not.

I've also stumbled across some good products like Kinky Curly Knot Today, that I can use once I'm fully natural as well and some excellent tips from youtuber kimmaytube. Check out her channel:


In the process of going natural I have stumbled across one major revelation that has helped me feel the utmost confidence in my decision to go natural.

Let me explain...

Many people don't like for Black women to have natural hair.

When asked if her liked for a woman to have natural hair, Method Man replied, "No... I don't like peasy afros... I like for a woman to get her hair did. I don't like her to have dreads and I don't like her to have a afro." (Excuse his horrid grammar)

Many times when I tell people black or white that I'm going natural they look at me like, "Umm... Why?" or like, "Eww..."

I have a white friend who regularly gives her opinion on how she likes black people's hair straight and not "bushy."

When I get reactions like that it really used to hurt my feelings and scare me into thinking that I was all of a sudden going to be ugly when I didn't have permed hair anymore.

Then it dawned on me:

Wait a minute! I say, WAIT A MINUTE!

I'm going natural FOR MYSELF! Not for anyone else.

True beauty starts from within, right?

Will I think I'm beautiful once I go natural?



If you remember one thing and one thing only about this blog entry, let it be this:


Everybody else is a bonus! If you truly believe you're beautiful it won't matter what anybody else thinks, because you'll know the truth.

The way I see it, if I have to kill my hair and become something I'm not to be beautiful in your eyes, then I'd rather you just not look at me! K? Thanks! :)

As a woman, to go natural takes more than just not perming your hair anymore. To me it really takes courage, inner strength and confidence to say, "Hey, everyone may not approve, and maybe I won't be as pretty to some other people, but I'm doing what's best for me and that's what's important!"

I think throughout this process I've really matured and I can honestly say,


Thursday, January 6, 2011


If you haven't already, read this article.


When I read this article I was ENRAGED!

Colorism can be defined as discrimination based on skin color. I wrote a 9 page paper on this very topic for my African-American History class and it is a subject of black history that has always intrigued and boggled my mind.

It is no secret that light-skinned women are put on a pedestal by the media in today’s society and it is also nothing new. The division between light and dark-skinned African-Americans dates all the way back to slavery.

Most of us know the story:

Lighter skinned slaves, usually the offspring of the slave master, were commonly house slaves, while darker skinned slaves labored in the fields. The animosity between dark and light skinned black people grew from there. After slavery was abolished the tension lingered and there was a separation between the two groups. Tests were created to determine who was “fit” to be accepted into certain clubs and churches. The brown paper bag test, for example measured a person’s skin hue against a brown paper bag. If your skin was darker you were not accepted. In another test, establishments would hang combs in the tops of doorways and if a person walked through and their hair snagged they were not admitted entrance.

Today, perhaps we aren’t doing these types of tests but how much has really changed? The majority of women we see in magazines, movies and music videos are light skinned. What does that say about how society as a whole views black women? To me it says: “Black women are not pretty unless they look as close to white as possible.” As a black woman, this offends and quite honestly hurts my feelings.

When I heard the song, “Right Above It,” I was offended by the line where Lil’ Wayne says that a black woman would look better “red,” or light-skinned. From then on he was on my bad side, but after reading that interview he is UNDER MY SHOE! That’s how little I think of him.

If I could speak to Lil’ Wayne, this is what I would say to him:

Hey IDIOT! Do you understand the hate in what you just said about your daughter? And do you understand the negative effects your statements are going to have on her when she hears them??? You just called her ugly! You are the reason little girls walk around hating the way they look and wanting to bleach their skin!! I hope parents stop allowing their kids to listen to your music(not that they should have in the first place since your lyrics are shear senselessness) because ignorance is contagious and I wouldn’t anyone gaining their view of what beauty is from you. Not to mention you yourself are a dark-skinned! So what your crude comments really say is, “I hate the way I look and I wish I was closer to Drake’s complexion.” I feel pity for you. Either get yourself together or stop speaking altogether!

If I could speak to Lil’ Wayne’s daughter I would tell her this:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! And don’t let your father or anyone else tell you that your dark skin makes to any less beautiful then the Mixed, Puerto Rican, Asian, or White girl standing next to you. Don’t let them take away the love you have for yourself.

I realize I’m not a dark-skinned female but I’m offended all the same. I’M SICK OF THIS SELF HATE! So let it be known that from this moment forward I STRONGLY DISLIKE Lil’ Wayne and I AM AGAINST HIS MUSIC AND WHAT IT STANDS FOR.

….Whew! I feel better now! 

If anyone would like to read the paper I wrote for my history class I’ve attached a PDF below. Take a look if this topic interests you too.

The Stain Bleach Wont Remove

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Natural Diaries... Entry # 3


Okay people. This whole natural business is really getting to be a pain in the butt!

Do you understand what it's like to wash my hair??? DO YOU??!!

The thing that makes it so difficult is the fact that it's half permed hair and half natural hair, which of course I anitcipated but Gracious Goodness!

It's soo hard to comb! And don't even think about blow drying it!

I'm even scared to go to the Dominicans now because I'm afraid they can't handle it! I have this strong feeling their gonna be like, "Um... Honey, This is gonna cost you extra." I already had one bad experience with a very rude Dominican hair stylist tell me, "Mami, you need a perm." I was like, "Actually, I'm trying to go natural so..." She said, "Mmm..." Needless to say I won't be going back to that particular salon but I'm worried even the nice Dominicans will look at me like I'm crazy.

The transition phase has forced me to broaden my horizons, and look into new options for my hair.

I used to be one of those girls who was against fake hair. I was like "no that's not me! I only wear my own hair because I'm real!"

Well, let me tell ya. That girl is GONE!

This new girl has discovered the world of half wigs, lace fronts, and oh yes WEAVES! This new hair realm is actually quite awesome! It's like, I don't even have to do anything with my hair for it to look done. It's amazing!

The first time I wore my half wig, I was very nervous about the reactions I was going to get. But when the overwhelming majority saw my hair I got a lot of compliments! I also made a PROFOUND DISCOVERY!

My discovery is this:

When Black people saw my hair they said, "Oh my gosh! I love your hair!"
When White people saw my hair they said, "Oh my gosh! That's not yours is it?"

It happened time and time again. One White lady even looked at me, pointed accusingly and said, "That's not your hair!" I was like, "Umm, Shut Up."

I truly appreciate how Black people have this unspoken bond, "I know it's not yours, but who cares! It's looks great on you!" Thank you Black people.

It's ok though. I understand that the Black women's hair perplexes White people to know end. They just want to learn. They don't understand that asking or shouting, "IS THAT YOUR HAIR???" Amongst a group of people is rude and rather embarrasing. It's alright. I forgive you. A little tip for my White readers though: The next time you feel the urge to ask someone, "Is this your hair?" DON'T! Just tell them it looks nice or don't say anything at all, and go on about your business.

The next hair option I'm going to try is a weave. I'm quite excited about it actually! And i'll be sure to upload photos. If it looks good that is.

Until next time!

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Natural Diaries... Entry #2

How I've Been Wearing My Hair

If I Go Natural, Will Guys Still Like Me?

Before deciding to go natural, I asked myself that question time and time again. I believe that was one of the reasons I was so afraid to do so in the first place.

What if guys don't find me attractive anymore?

Although I haven't let that question stop me, I think it's still something I'll struggle with and continue to ask myself until I've completed the whole the process.

I expressed those feelings to a co-worker who was already natural. She said, "Guys will still be attracted to you. You'll just attract a different kind of guy. A more mature guy."

Her response certainly makes me feel better and makes a lot of sense.
Typical guys, if they date black women at all, will probably want someone with long, straight, relaxed hair. Someone who doesn't look as "ethnic" as perhaps someone who doesn't get perms.

And at first I was like "Oh no! No one's gonna think I'm pretty anymore." But now I ask myself, "Did I want those shallow guys in the first place?"

No! The answer is no! Who wants someone who only wants you because you look like everybody else in the world? I don't! I want someone who wants me because I'm different. Because I'm not like any other girl he's ever met. I want someone who's as deep as I am. Who is also different from the "typical guy." I want a Man not a boy.

So I can't wait to be natural and attract some real guys who are worthy of me! The REAL me.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Monday, October 25, 2010

A Blossoming Photographer...

I just bought a Nikon D3000!

I'm super excited to start shooting!

This will also help me to keep you guys up-to-date visually on my progress in The Natural Diaries!

This is just a sample of what I've done since I bought the camera and there are many more examples of my work soon to come!

Keep checking back!

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Natural Diaries... Entry # 1

As many of you may know, the new trend in African American hair right now is going natural.

As for myself, I've always been one of those people who said, "I will never go natural! I need my perm!" As a matter of fact, I can't even remember life before I had a perm. That's how long I've had one.

But for the past few months I've been thinking extensively about going natural, the whole process and the outcome.

The whole reason why I've been afraid to go natural was because I didn't know what my hair was going to look like. I didn't think my hair was soft enough to curl and I didn't want to walk around look like I was living in the Seventies. But as I began doing my research and talking to people who are natural I began to see things differently.

They taught me:
1. Your hair is not nappy. That is what society has told you to make you straighten your hair.
2. Your hair will curl. If you train your hair and use the right products, there is no reason for your hair not to turn out the way you want it to.

Hearing this made me consider going natural more seriously.

The icing on the cake was when I started thinking about all the stuff I would no longer have to worry about if I didn't have a perm.

I wouldn't have to miss out on playing basketball with my friends because I didn't want to sweat my hair out.

I wouldn't have to worry about wrapping it every night.

And the BIG one: I COULD GO SWIMMING WHENEVER I WANT! I wouldn't have to sit on the side of the pool while everyone else is splashing around having a good time.

The thought of it all amazed me! I almost couldn't even imagine it!

In further reflection of the whole concept of relaxing hair, I realized how unfair it is!

White people get to wear their natural hair. Latino people get to wear their natural. Asian people, Indian people... Well... actually Indian people cut their hair off so we can wear it on our heads but you get the point!

How come everybody else gets to wear their natural hair and feel beautiful, but as soon as we try to do it and be who we really are society says, "No! Don't do it! That's ugly!"

Come on! Does that make anybody else mad?!

So I've decided that I am going to try to go natural and chronicle my progress through my blogs. I haven't had a perm since late July and I'm still going strong. It's getting a little tougher but I'm going to do my best to stick with it. I'm gonna need a lot of help and support because I honestly have no idea what I'm doing.


So keep reading and feel free to comment and tell me what to do!