10 Things You Shouldn’t Do When Ordering At Coldstone Creamery

Soo Basically… I work at Coldstone.

Me and my co-workers agree on a few key things that you shouldn’t do if you don’t want to annoy your server.

Yes, we realize it’s our job to serve you, but give me a break. Help me help you.

1. Pay attention to the signs when you walk in. There’s a big arrow right in front of the door that says “This Way.” Follow it.
2. Pay attention when I say I can help you. When I clearly make eye contact with you and say, “I can help the next party!” don’t stand there and look at me like you’re shocked I picked you. Yea I’m talkin’ to you! Ain’t nobody behind you!
3. Speak Up! I can’t hear you! I truly don’t understand why people think we have bionic hearing. The ghea(the thing that holds the ice cream) is loud, so if you want me to hear your order you’re gonna have to speak up! Stop whispering! And when I say “I’m sorry. What was that?” that means I couldn’t hear you the first time. So why would you say it in the exact same volume??? And then they get mad at me when I attempt to repeat their order back to them and it’s wrong. What do you want from me?!?
4. What is a Cookie “Doughnut” Ya Want Some? I realize that some of the signatures may be a little hard to pronounce, but after a while of looking at it on the menu, I would think you’d learn what it’s really called. So let me take some time now to clear up some things that you all seem to have a little trouble with.
   
   a. Its pronounced like “Cookie Don’t Ya Want Some.” Its written “Cooke Doughn’t Ya Want Some.” See the play on words there? Yea, I thought it was cute too.
   b. We don’t have Birthday Cake ice cream. We have Cake Batter ice cream which is what we use to make the Birthday Cake Remix.
   c. The “z” is silent on Rendezvous. So it’s pronounced Strawberry Banana Ron-day-voo. Not Ren-dez-vus.
   d. No the butter pecan doesn’t have pecans mixed in it. No need to yell at me. I can mix them in for if you like.
5. Tell ME your order! I find it really puzzling when a guy is with his girl and she puts in her order and then I say, “Alright and what can I get for you?” directly addressing him and he turns to his girl and tells her his order, and then she repeats it to me. She’s not allowed to make your ice cream! Believe me I wish she could! So why do you insist on the middle man? You can speak for yourself. Just tell ME what you want please.
6. Please pick a size ma’am! Alright so you get through the ordering part smoothly and then it happens! You’ve come to a cross roads in life. This is, perhaps, the hardest question you’ve ever been asked in your life. “What size did you want that in?” I mean this must be a real struggle for customers because they look at me like they’ve never had to choose the size of anything before! “Umm… I don’t know.” Am I supposed to know what size YOU want? You gotta pick one. “What sizes do you have?” I mean I feel like it’s pretty obvious. “Like it, Love it, or Gotta have it. So basically small medium or large.” “Uhh, just give me your regular size.” What is that??? Please just pick small, medium, or large. It doesn’t have to be this difficult.
7. Oh I wanted a lid on that. Well why didn’t ya say so from the beginning??? I done put a spoon in it already and everything! Now I gotta throw the spoon away. A perfectly good spoon gone to waste. Tell me that you want a lid before I put the spoon in it please.
8. Ohh I meant the cone in a cup. Alrighty, this happens every day which is why I have developed the method of asking more than once. We have Waffle Cones, and we have Waffle Bowls. The difference is… one is a cone and the other is a bowl. And we can fit any size into them, not only the Gotta Have it.
9. What?! That’s how much it is!? Uh Uh. Why is it so much?! So I’m finished making your ice cream and I’m ringing you up. “It’s gonna be $7.07.” “What?!? That’s ridiculous!” If you don’t wanna pay an arm and a leg for your ice cream, don’t get everything and yo mama mixed in it! It’s actually hilarious when ya think about it. You got a Gotta Have It Strawberry Blonde, plus the extra graham cracker and strawberries you wanted. Then you got it in a dipped waffle bowl. And then shordy had the nerve to think it was gon be $2.11!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!...... AHA! Whew! Girl you funny! You guys really crack me up!
10. You guys sing for tips right? Yes we do. But did you really expect me to put my all into that song when you only dropped a penny in the tip jar. And don’t be a jerk and keep dropping penny after penny in so that we can keep singing. It’s really irritating.

These are just a few words from the wise. This is not to discourage you from going to ColdStone. I promise this will help you on your journey to those delicious desserts you crave so ravenously! Now get out there and put these tips to good use! Have a ColdStone Day!