Sunday, August 15, 2010

Who Should Be Allowed To Use The "N" Word?

So the other day I was listening to the Russ Parr Morning Show and they played a clip of this Dr. Laura woman giving a Black woman, in an inter-racial marriage, advice about how to handle the racist comments of her husband’s white friends.

After telling the woman that she was being too sensitive about race, she proceeded to spew out the “N” word, a total of 6 times, asking why it’s only ok for black people to use it?

This is not a new question. This argument has been had many times with many different answers.

“It depends on how you say it!”

"No, white people can’t say it at all!”

“Nobody should say it. Period!”

After listening to the audio and discussing it with my friend she made an extremely valid point, but before I tell it, let’s discuss both sides of the issue.

I totally understand why those who are not black don’t get whole the concept of the usage of the “N” word.

It is true. Black people use it ALL THE TIME! In rap songs, in movies, in daily conversation, and it’s nothing. It’s the norm, so to speak.

My question is why call yourself something that you don’t want someone else to call you?

We set the example of how to treat each other. Those not in our race, learn how to interact WITH US, FROM US! So if black people are calling each other the “N” word left and right, everybody else is going to notice and be like, “Ohhh that’s how we’re supposed to talk to them! That’s how we can relate to them better. That’s the kind of language they understand.”

Eliminating the possibility that a white child has racist parents who use the “N” word regularly, where do you think white kids, in this day and age, learn how to use the “N” word in context?....





Rap songs, movies, and everyday conversation is where they learn to call us the words that we don’t want to be called. So, since we’re the ones teaching them, can we justifiably get offended when they do what they’re taught?

Catching my drift?...

Now back to the valid point my friend made and the other side of the issue.

When one fat friend calls the other fat in a joking manner, it’s ok. But if a skinny person calls a fat person fat in ANY manner, it’s rude.

If I’m going on about how my mother gets on my nerves and I say, “My mother is so dumb!” That’s one thing. But if you say, “You’re mother is so dumb,” I’m gonna look at you like…


“Don’t talk about my mother like that…”

My point is, people who are of the same group or who can relate to each other on a certain level, like friends, family, or even race can say certain things that people who are not a part of that group cannot.

This is how some black people feel about the use of the “N” word. Like if there’s a group of black people vibin’ and they throw the “N” word around and they’re laughing and having a good time but then a white person comes over and is like, “Whats up my n-“ it’s like you can hear the record stop. It throws off the flow a bit, ya know what I mean?

Now that I’ve explained both sides, I’ll share my personal opinion on the matter.

Personally, I don’t believe the “N” word should be used by anyone at all. I just think it’s a bad word all around that still carries the negativity of it’s origin.

Not to say that I’ve never used the word in my life, but as a general rule, I try to stay away from bad words in general.

That’s my stance on the issue.

I digress…


  1. The history of the n-word remains the same regardless whether the user of the term's skin is black or white, therefore, from a rational point of view, making anyone and everyone accountable for their use of the pejorative term.

  2. First of all I would like to commend you on this post, often times many African American are afraid to bring up the topic not wanting to discuss the subject in fear of being wrong because they do not want to give up the use of the word. Now my view point on the matter is similar to yours just because it may be acceptable in a particular group doesn’t make it truly acceptable. Prime example a lot of females like to call each other B!+(#s, but if a male were to call us one would we not be offended. Just because we use it amongst ourselves doesn’t make it right the B word is still very vulgar. The same with the N word, now I have used the N word very freely in the past and I use to think it was ok even if a white person were to use it as long as they didn’t get mad if I said something racist toward them in return, all’s fair as long as we are joking right? But in actuality these terms and jokes we use 2 hurt each other all in the favor of laughter isn't kool! If we ever want to fully defeat discrimination we have to throw it all away everything from slavery not just the chains and whips but the language as well. So I no longer approve of the use of the word because even though it might be said as a joke it can easily be taken offensively, and never would I want to offend a fellow member of the HUMAN RACE. We are all brothers and sisters why should the color of our skins cause us 2 speak negatively of one another? So I plan to starting today stop using words that deflect a negative light on each other that means the N word, Cr@(}<3r, White trash, speck, banana, Oreo, B!+(#, and so forth, let’s get rid of them all. Although I can’t force anyone else I hope others learn from my example and decide to join me. (sorry for the long post)

  3. i agree, brenda. Don't use the word at all. If you do use it as a "term of endearment" then keep it private. When you go public with it, that's when it sends mixed messages to others and creates confusion.

  4. I think words like that have become tools of lazy entertainers because of how much attention they draw. They feed off of the attention they get and try to turn it into profit, be it for money or personal attention. Great blog!

  5. Great post. That video, woah, not so great. Thanks for writing this, it needs to be said often. I agree we need to put the N word to rest. There are many words that need a funeral but not enough people realize that, or worse, they just don't care.