So this weekend I took my fourth and absolute BEST trip to New York City.
As everyone already knows, New York is a beautiful and Magical city.
What’s also no news to anyone is that if you visit New York, you’re bound to see some interesting things…
For example, the most entertaining things always happen in the Subway.
Riding the subway is one of those things I look forward to when I come to NY. This may sound strange to the native New Yorker, but whenever I ride it, I really bask in it because it makes me feel like a New Yorker myself. I just feel so darn cool!
Anyway,
Every time I go to New York, it never fails that most of my laughs are had on the subway.
On my last trip, there was an elderly, blind man walking up and down the train car with his bucket in one hand and his cane in the other singing, “IF YOU WANT MY BODY AND YOU THINK I’M SEXY, COME ON SUGA LET ME KNOW!”
This most recent trip was no such letdown! On my second day in the subway I sat next to this woman and her baby. This baby was two things that I don’t like the babies I sit next to, to be.
1. Dirty!
2. Bad!
Alright now when I say dirty, I don’t mean he stunk, or that his clothes were a mess. I mean his face and hands were covered with food crumbs.
And this subway was packed, so I was sitting rather close to this woman and her child. And the baby kept looking at me…
I just kept thinkin’, “That baby better not touch me…”
And then little bad thing was beating up his mother!
He kept punching her in the head and smacking her in the face.
You know how awkward it is to sit next to a person while they’re getting beat up?
She kept saying, “No! No! You don’t beat your mommy up!”
Then he would smack her in the face and laugh again.
I just looked away… Pretended I didn’t see…
Hey, what could I do?
Tisk. It’d be a shame if I had witnessed the onset of domestic violence…
So on my third and final night in NY these three ladies got on the subway and two of them sat down while one was still in the process of getting into her seat. Then, suddenly, the train pulled off while the woman was in mid-stand, and she fell over onto the man next to her. And I mean she fell ONTO THIS MAN! Her whole butt was in this guy’s lap.
Me and my group of people were sitting right across from the ladies when the two sitting down busted out laughing.
Me and my friend were already trying our best not to laugh but when we saw them laughing we busted out laughing too.
You know how hard it is not to laugh when you’re actually TRYING not to laugh.
Well the whole ride we were TRYING not to laugh but nothing helped. Well looking at the poor lady looking embarrassed helped a little…
Ok, not really…
We laughed at this poor woman the whole ride back to the hotel, but it made us feel better that her friends were laughing right along with us.
Mm mm mm… Poor lady…
All in all, my trip was AMAZING! I took a couple tours, went to Madame Tussaud’s and best of all got to make some great new friends.
Look out New York! You might just have a new resident blogger on your hands!
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